far too much writing, far too many photos

runswithscissors


Tuesday, June 07, 2005

[continued from previous entry]

That happened a while back, maybe ten years ago, when my mother was beyond elderly, the curtain slowly, gradually coming down on her final act. I lived in Cambridge, Mass. then, had been living as a single for a while and was coming to realize two things: (1) somewhere along the line I'd developed a distinct preference for a clean living space, and (2) I was real damn tired of doing all the cleaning myself. Something about my mother's turn toward greater chaos in her living space clarified things for me, and that in combo with cleaning fatigue got me considering paying someone to come in every couple of weeks and whip the place into shape.

There are folks for whom that decision might center on money issues. Turned out to be more about identity for me. Both sides of the family had come from humble keltic roots. Not wealthy, with more likelihood that they might work cleaning for someone than hire someone to clean for them. Before considering this simple step, I'd had no idea that I'd absorbed so much of that family self-image, had no idea it would be an area so powerful, so seriously in need of untangling. Working my way through it brought fresh air to parts of my inner workings in desperate need of clearing out.

Blah blah blah. When I finally pulled the trigger and hired someone to come clean, I discovered I liked it. In a major way. And became serious about living in a neat place. Shoes got taken off on entering the flat (mine and everyone else's). I grew increasingly aware of how I liked things to be, began noticing me working to find a balance between maintaining a comfy tidiness and allowing visiting friends to carry on as they wanted, short of smearing food on the walls.

[Two day pause as life takes over.]

Er, oops.

It's not that I'm trying to avoid finishing this -- life, at times, overrides my good intentions. In this case, it means mowing big expanses of fast-growing lawn (between showers) until the mower breaks down, pulling the bugger apart, finding replacement parts, putting it back together, all the time trying to keep the rest of life afloat. One of these days a great woman will take up residence in my existence and I'll have someone to share some of the daily running around and energy expenditures with. (And won't that fun for her!)

So. What's gotten me thinking about lessons learned from parents, etc.? Answer: the experience of returning from overseas after months away. It's happened twice during recent months, first in February (a bizarre experience, that return, given the person who had been here taking care of the place), then about two and a half weeks back. An entirely different experience in many ways, the second arrival, the person taking care of the place being far more capable and aware. Even so, it had its surprises. He hadn't been around much during the two weeks before I got back, in some ways it was apparent. (There is nothing like getting home after nearly 20 or so ours of traveling, walking into the kitchen and finding the floor so dirty that your socks stick to it, finding sunflower seeds and popcorn all over the place.) Nothing major, though, nothing worth detailing. The most interesting part was watching my reactions to it all, reflecting on what they mean about me, about which ones I feel fine about and which I might want to consider adjusting.


[this entry in progress]


*************

Cellphone talker, overheard in Montpelier:

"Janie told me she stopped takin' her meds 'cause they were makin' her crazy."

*************

Northern Vermont, hazy and warm:




Madrid, te echo de menos.

rws 6:12 PM [+]

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BLATHERINGS

August 2001
September 2001
October 2001
November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
June 2009
July 2009

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .


MORE FOCUSED BLATHERINGS


Travels:
London '01
Pamplona
Italy '03
U.K. '03
Sevilla
Casablanca
Stoke-on-Trent
Barcelona
Québec/Ottawa
Boston/Lisbon/Madrid
Italy '04
Montréal
La Sierra

Events:
Madrid -- arrival
9/11
Emergency Room I
Holidays 2001
Holidays 2002
Holidays 2003
Holidays 2004
Holidays 2005
A neighbor's passing
Madrid -- March 11 bombings
  and aftermath
Emergency Room II
Israeli friend/Madrid Marathon
Madrid -- Royal Wedding
The DELE exam

GONE, a novel:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10

THE BASTARD CHILDREN OF
JOE ROCCO, a novella:
-- Part 1
-- Part 2
-- Part 3

BURBANK SHRUGGED,
a screenplay:
-- Part 1
-- Part 2
-- Part 3
-- Part 4

Short stories:
Murphy's Wife
Another Autumn
La Queja de Una
  Hermanastra Muy Conocida

Autobiography
-- Personal History
-- Hormones On Parade
-- Accidents, Random Mishaps,
    Personal Problems

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .


OTHER SOURCES OF WHOLESOME ENTERTAINMENT

People/Weblogs:
dooce
foxvox
fudge it
fear not
rebekka
bookslut
802online
idle words
madhaiku
wockerjabby
grow-a-brain
rebel market
letting me be
out and about
kung fu grippe
fanatical apathy
baghdad burning
wfuv's music blog
kexp's music blog
mimi smartypants
between the miles
just a hippie gypsy
the impossible cool
tomato can brushes
vermont homestead
sugar mountain farm

Good Clean Fun:
gizmodo
futurismic
postsecret
dave barry
human clock
mcsweeney's
spaceweather
book-a-minute
internet archive
self-portrait day
my cat hates you
out of context quotes
surrealist compliment
  generator
strindberg and helium

Makin' Musical Whoopee:
last fm
stereo8
pandora
soma fm

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .


ABOUT RWS/CONTACT





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