far too much writing, far too many photos

runswithscissors


Saturday, December 08, 2001

More Yuletide entertainment that has made its way around the net in past years (no, I've never seen it with an author's name attached -- should such authorial-type individual stumble across this page, see the following piece and find themselves overcome with an overwhelming desire for vengeance, I would ask that person -- assuming they can prove authorship -- to please act in the spirit of the season and not sue my hollied/tinseled/garlanded ass without first giving me a chance to provide proper attribution or, alternatively, remove the offending bit of diversion from this webpage):

THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (politically corrected)

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting-adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note).

TEN melanin-deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping.

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression.

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved bovine-Americans.

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally-protected wetlands.

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products.

FIVE golden symbols of culturally-sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration. (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint all over my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitats. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift packages have been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs.

THREE deconstructionist poets.

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and...

ONE spotted owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas! Happy Chanukah! Good Kwanzaa! Blessed Yule! (Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If such is the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.)


rws 2:46 PM [+]

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BLATHERINGS

August 2001
September 2001
October 2001
November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
June 2009
July 2009

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .


MORE FOCUSED BLATHERINGS


Travels:
London '01
Pamplona
Italy '03
U.K. '03
Sevilla
Casablanca
Stoke-on-Trent
Barcelona
Québec/Ottawa
Boston/Lisbon/Madrid
Italy '04
Montréal
La Sierra

Events:
Madrid -- arrival
9/11
Emergency Room I
Holidays 2001
Holidays 2002
Holidays 2003
Holidays 2004
Holidays 2005
A neighbor's passing
Madrid -- March 11 bombings
  and aftermath
Emergency Room II
Israeli friend/Madrid Marathon
Madrid -- Royal Wedding
The DELE exam

GONE, a novel:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10

THE BASTARD CHILDREN OF
JOE ROCCO, a novella:
-- Part 1
-- Part 2
-- Part 3

BURBANK SHRUGGED,
a screenplay:
-- Part 1
-- Part 2
-- Part 3
-- Part 4

Short stories:
Murphy's Wife
Another Autumn
La Queja de Una
  Hermanastra Muy Conocida

Autobiography
-- Personal History
-- Hormones On Parade
-- Accidents, Random Mishaps,
    Personal Problems

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .


OTHER SOURCES OF WHOLESOME ENTERTAINMENT

People/Weblogs:
dooce
foxvox
fudge it
fear not
rebekka
bookslut
802online
idle words
madhaiku
wockerjabby
grow-a-brain
rebel market
letting me be
out and about
kung fu grippe
fanatical apathy
baghdad burning
wfuv's music blog
kexp's music blog
mimi smartypants
between the miles
just a hippie gypsy
the impossible cool
tomato can brushes
vermont homestead
sugar mountain farm

Good Clean Fun:
gizmodo
futurismic
postsecret
dave barry
human clock
mcsweeney's
spaceweather
book-a-minute
internet archive
self-portrait day
my cat hates you
out of context quotes
surrealist compliment
  generator
strindberg and helium

Makin' Musical Whoopee:
last fm
stereo8
pandora
soma fm

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .


ABOUT RWS/CONTACT





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runswithscissors would like to thank everyone who's ever lived for everything they've ever done.



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